Snapchat, TikTok, and Beyond
By: Becky Meline, LIMHP MGCP
Social media is a huge part of today’s world. Apps like Snapchat, TikTok, and Instagram are where many kids connect with friends, share their lives, and explore trends. But as a parent, it’s normal to wonder: When is the right time to let my child start using these apps? How do I keep them safe while still respecting their growing independence?
Here are some practical tips to help you set healthy boundaries and keep tabs on your child’s social media use.
1. Know the Platforms Before You Say Yes
Before allowing your child on any app, take time to learn how it works. Create your own account, explore the settings, and understand the privacy controls. Each app has unique features:
- Snapchat – Messages and pictures disappear quickly, making it harder for parents to track.
- TikTok – Highly engaging, with a mix of entertainment, trends, and sometimes inappropriate content.
- Instagram & Others – Visual-heavy platforms where likes and follows can impact self-esteem.
When you know the app, you’ll be better prepared to set realistic rules.
2. Consider Age and Maturity, Not Just Rules
Most platforms set their minimum age at 13 (due to U.S. privacy laws), but maturity matters more than the number. Ask yourself:
- Can my child follow family rules without constant reminders?
- Do they handle disappointment and conflict appropriately?
- Are they open to talking with me about uncomfortable situations?
If the answer is “not yet,” it may be best to wait a little longer before granting access.
3. Start with Training Wheels
When you do allow access, treat it like getting a driver’s license: start with supervision. Some ways to do this include:
- Require that you know their passwords at first.
- Keep accounts private, approving only friends they know in real life.
- Allow limited time online (e.g., 30–60 minutes per day).
- Encourage them to use social media in shared family spaces, not behind closed doors.
4. Use Built-In Parental Controls and Monitoring Tools
Most apps now have parental controls or “Family Pairing” features. For example:
- TikTok has Family Pairing, allowing you to set screen time limits, filter content, and restrict direct messages.
- Snapchat offers Family Center, which lets you see who your child is friends with and who they’re messaging.
- iPhone/Android devices have built-in screen time management to limit overall app use.
These tools don’t replace conversation but can support the boundaries you’ve set.
5. Have Ongoing Conversations (Not Just Rules)
Checking in isn’t about snooping — it’s about teaching. Ask questions like:
- “What’s your favorite thing about TikTok right now?”
- “Have you seen anything online that made you uncomfortable?”
- “How do you decide who to follow or accept as a friend?”
By talking openly and often, your child learns to see you as a safe person to come to if something goes wrong online.
6. Model Healthy Social Media Habits
Kids notice how parents use technology. If they see you scrolling at the dinner table or checking notifications late at night, they’ll take that as “normal.” Show them balance by:
- Putting your phone down during family time.
- Setting your own screen time limits.
- Talking about how you choose what to share (and what to keep private).
7. Focus on Trust, Not Just Control
Ultimately, your goal isn’t to monitor your child forever — it’s to help them build the skills to use social media responsibly on their own. Start with close supervision, gradually loosen restrictions as they show responsibility, and always keep the door open for honest conversation.
Final Thought
There’s no one “right” age to allow Snapchat, TikTok, or Instagram. The right time depends on your child’s maturity, your family’s values, and your willingness to stay engaged in their online world. With clear limits, open conversations, and ongoing guidance, you can help your child navigate social media safely and confidently.
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Be Where Your Feet Are: How Athletes Can Stay Present and Perform at Their Best In sport, the difference between good and great often isn’t physical—it’s mental. One of the most powerful mental skills an athlete can develop is the ability to stay present. To be where your feet are. Not stuck replaying the last mistake. Not fast-forwarding to the outcome. Just fully locked into the moment you’re in. Because performance only happens now. Here are practical ways athletes can train that skill and show up at their best when it matters most: 1. Recognize When Your Mind Has Left the Moment You can’t refocus if you don’t first notice you’ve drifted. Common signs: Replaying a mistake (“I can’t believe I did that…”) Jumping ahead (“What if I miss this?”) Thinking about what others are thinking Awareness is step one. The goal isn’t to never get distracted—that’s unrealistic. The goal is to catch it faster. 2. Use a Reset Cue Have a simple, repeatable phrase or action that brings you back. Examples: “Next play” “Right here” “This moment” A deep breath + exhale This becomes your mental “home base.” Every time your mind wanders, you come back to it. 3. Anchor to Your Senses Your body is always in the present—even when your mind isn’t. Quick ways to ground yourself: Feel your feet in your shoes or on the field/court Notice your breathing Listen for a specific sound (whistle, crowd, ball contact) This pulls you out of your head and back into the moment. 4. Focus on Process, Not Outcome Pressure lives in outcomes. Freedom lives in process. Instead of: “I need to score” Think: “Clean first touch” “Strong follow-through” “Attack the ball” Process goals are controllable and keep you engaged in the present. 5. Create a Between-Play Routine The best athletes don’t leave focus to chance—they build it into routines. Between plays: Release the last moment (good or bad) Reset with a breath or cue Refocus on your next role This creates consistency, especially under pressure. 6. Accept Mistakes Faster Mistakes don’t hurt performance nearly as much as how long you stay stuck on them. Present athletes: Acknowledge it Learn (if needed) Let it go Lingering is what pulls you out of the moment. 7. Train Presence in Practice You can’t expect to be present in games if you don’t practice it. In training: Notice distractions Use your reset cue Refocus intentionally Mental skills are built just like physical ones—through repetition. 8. Simplify Your Focus Under Pressure When the moment gets big, your focus should get small. Instead of thinking about everything: Lock into one cue One job One action Clarity creates confidence. 9. Trust That This Moment Is Enough Often, athletes leave the present because they feel like they need to do more, be more, or control more. But peak performance comes from: Trusting your preparation Trusting your instincts Trusting the moment in front of you You don’t need to win the whole game in one play. Just win this moment. Final Thought “Be where your feet are” isn’t just a phrase—it’s a competitive advantage. When you’re present: You react faster You think clearer You play freer And most importantly—you give yourself access to the performance you’ve trained for. The next time your mind drifts, don’t get frustrated. Just come back. Right here. Right now.
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Becky Meline, LIMHP MGCP Comparison is something every athlete faces — whether it’s comparing stats, playing time, body type, or social media highlights. In today’s world, athletes aren’t just competing on the field or court — they’re competing with what they see online. You scroll through Instagram and see a teammate posting highlight reels, another athlete committing to their dream school, or someone showing off their “perfect” body or training grind. Before you know it, you start questioning your own progress and wondering if you’re enough. Here’s the truth: comparison steals joy, confidence, and focus — three things every athlete needs to perform at their best. Let’s talk about how to manage it. 1. Recognize That You’re Seeing a Highlight Reel Social media shows the best moments, not the full story. That picture-perfect post doesn’t show the athlete’s struggles, failures, or late-night frustrations. Remind yourself that you’re seeing a filtered version of someone’s journey — not their full reality. When you catch yourself comparing, try saying to yourself: “I’m only seeing their highlight reel, not their hard days.” Grounding yourself in that truth helps bring the focus back to your own path. 2. Focus on Your Lane Every athlete develops differently — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Some teammates peak early, others find their stride later. Comparing your chapter 2 to someone else’s chapter 10 only hurts your growth. Instead, shift your mindset: Set your own goals — what do you want to improve this week? Track your own progress — celebrate small wins like better recovery, stronger mindset, or consistent effort. Remember your why — why you play, why you train, and what you love about your sport. When your focus is inward, comparison loses power. 3. Use Comparison as Feedback, Not Judgment Comparison isn’t always bad — it can become fuel when used the right way. Instead of thinking, “She’s so much better than me,” shift to, “What can I learn from her?” If a teammate has great confidence, work on your mental game. If someone’s faster or stronger, ask what drills or training helped them. Growth-minded athletes turn comparison into curiosity — not criticism. 4. Take Breaks from Social Media If scrolling makes you feel less than, it’s okay to step back. Unfollow accounts that trigger insecurity and follow people or pages that inspire healthy habits, positivity, and confidence. Try creating boundaries: No scrolling before or after practice 24-hour social media break after tough games Limit time on comparison-heavy platforms like Instagram or TikTok Protect your mental space the same way you protect your body — both impact performance. 5. Build Genuine Connections with Teammates Comparison can isolate you — but connection heals it. When you build real relationships with teammates, you realize that everyone has insecurities and goals they’re working toward. Support each other. Celebrate each other’s wins. When your team culture is rooted in encouragement instead of comparison, everyone performs better. 6. Remind Yourself of What Makes You, You No one else has your exact mindset, skills, story, or purpose. That’s your superpower. When you catch yourself comparing, pause and remind yourself: “I have my own strengths, and I’m working on becoming my best self.” Confidence grows when you anchor your worth in who you are — not in how you measure up to others. Every athlete struggles with comparison — it’s part of being human. But learning to manage it is part of becoming mentally strong. Focus on your growth, surround yourself with supportive people, and remember that your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful. You’re building your story — and that’s something worth being proud of. Becky Meline, LIMHP MGCP Licensed Clinician & Certified Performance Coach