If your stomach does flips before a big game, or your young athlete suddenly can't eat breakfast on game day, you're not alone — and neither are they. Almost every athlete, from weekend rec leaguers to Olympians, feels something before competing. The question we hear most from parents is: “Is this normal nervousness, or is something bigger going on?” 

Let's break it down. 

What Pre-Game Jitters Actually Look Like 

Jitters are your body's way of saying, “This matters to me.” A racing heart, sweaty palms, a fluttery stomach, or restless energy in the hour before a game are all completely normal. In fact, a little nervous energy can actually help performance — it sharpens focus and gets the body ready to move. 

Here's the key: jitters show up right before the event, and they fade fast once the whistle blows or the first pitch is thrown. Most kids (and adults) will tell you they felt nervous walking to the field, but once they're in the middle of the action, the nerves disappear. 

Some everyday signs of normal jitters: 

• Butterflies in the stomach before warmups 
• A little trouble sleeping the night before a big game 
• Talking more (or less) than usual before competing 
• Wanting extra reassurance from a parent or coach 
• Nerves that ease up once play actually starts 

If this sounds like your kid, take a breath — this is your athlete's body doing exactly what it's supposed to do. 

What Performance Anxiety Looks Like 

Performance anxiety is a different animal. It's not just nerves — it's a pattern where fear and worry start to get in the way of actually playing the sport, or even wanting to. 

A few signs that it may be more than jitters: 

• Nerves that stick around during the game, not just before it 
• Physical symptoms severe enough to cause nausea, vomiting, or panic 
• Avoiding practice or making excuses to skip games 
• Constant fear of letting the team down or disappointing a parent/coach 
• Negative self-talk that doesn't let up (“I'm going to mess this up,” “Everyone's watching me fail”) 
• Anxiety that shows up around other things too — school, social situations, sleep 

The biggest difference isn't how intense the nerves feel in the moment — it's whether they fade once the game starts, and whether they're starting to affect your child's daily life outside of sports. 

Why This Distinction Matters 

Parents often ask us if they're “overreacting” by bringing this up, or if they should just tell their kid to “shake it off.” Here's the honest answer: normal jitters usually don't need intervention — they need support, encouragement, and maybe a pep talk. But real performance anxiety usually doesn't just go away with more practice or a stricter routine. In fact, pushing harder can sometimes make it worse, especially if the athlete already feels immense pressure to perform. 

Kids aren't always great at explaining what they're feeling — they might just say “my stomach hurts” or “I don't want to play today” without knowing how to describe the anxiety underneath it. That's where paying attention to patterns (not just one bad day) becomes really important. 

Simple Things That Help Both 

Whether it's jitters or something more, a few strategies help almost every athlete: 

1. Normalize the nerves. Let your child know that even pros get nervous — nerves aren't a sign something is wrong. 
2. Create a pre-game routine. A consistent warmup, breathing exercise, or playlist can turn “unknown” nervous energy into something familiar and controllable. 
3. Reframe the goal. Shifting the focus from “don't mess up” to “do your best” takes pressure off perfection. 
4. Talk about it after, not just before. Ask how they felt during the game, not just how they played — this helps you catch patterns early. 

When to Reach Out for Support 

If your athlete's nerves are sticking around during competition, causing them to avoid the sport altogether, or bleeding into other parts of their life, it may be time to bring in extra support. A sports psychology professional can help your child build real mental skills — not just “toughen up” — so they can enjoy competing again instead of dreading it. 

You don't have to figure this out alone, and neither does your athlete. The goal isn't to eliminate nerves completely (some nervous energy is actually helpful) — it's to make sure fear isn't taking the joy out of the game.